How do you feel when someone talks over you in a meeting or ignores your emails time and time again? Cuts in front of you in a line or sighs so loudly in the middle of a conversation it’s like they are auditioning for a haunted house. Relax. It’s not you.
Rudeness wears many costumes. Sometimes it’s the loud phone-talker who believes everyone in the shop desperately needs the details of their tax return. Sometimes it’s the colleague who interrupts every thought you have, like a pop-up ad in human form. And sometimes it’s simply the person who never bothers to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’.
For the majority of people being rude is not intentional and it is simply a lack of awareness that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Yet it still stings so much when we perceive someone as being rude.
That’s because the science says our brains treat rudeness like an actual threat and the result is a sudden increase in irritability, stress and altered decision-making. Over time, too much exposure to rudeness can lead to anxiety, burnout, or even googling ‘cheap cabins in the woods to live forever’.
There are ways to handle rudeness without losing your sanity or having to move to a cabin in the woods with only wolves for company.
Don’t take it personally – when someone cuts you off mid-sentence or honks at you in traffic, remember it’s rarely about you. Their behaviour is a reflection of their own impatience and insecurity. Imagine their rudeness like a badly tuned radio: noisy, irritating, but not worth changing your whole life over.
Use humour – if a colleague keeps interrupting you, try saying with a smile, “Wow, we must be psychic – you always start talking right when I do!” Humour disarms people faster than confrontation and sometimes it even makes them aware of what they’re doing.
Set boundaries – some rudeness is chronic like that friend who treats your Netflix password as a basic human right. In those cases, politeness doesn’t mean being a doormat. A simple, calm “Hey, I need to finish my thought before you jump in” or “I’d like my password back, thanks” can work wonders.
Choose your battles – you don’t need to duel every offender. Life’s too short to chase down every person who didn’t wave thanks when you let them merge into traffic. Sometimes the best strategy is to shrug and save your energy for bigger things.
Lead by example – think about your own ‘rude’ moments as there will be plenty. That time you were rude to a waiter because your meal was cold or when you ignored a text for a week because life got in the way. Chances are the people on the receiving end thought you were rude too. Remembering our own slip-ups helps to soften the way we view others and that tiny shift in mindset can keep your blood pressure from spiking.
At the end of the day rude people are everywhere and they’re not going away. You can’t control them, but you can control how you react. Whether it’s using humour to deflect, setting clear boundaries, or simply letting things slide, handling rudeness comes down to protecting your own peace of mind.
